Infertility/Pregnancy Loss Proposed Materials for ritualwell.org.
Prepared by Shai Gluskin, Lawrie Hurtt, and Samuel Berman-Freedman

Hello ritualwell team. Below is a listing of the items that, so far, I think are worth including in ritualwell.org. Currently there are 37 items. Let me know if you think anything is repetitive. There are still more to add as well from the files/books I have. Though you will see that most say "Not yet scanned/typed" there are a few that you will be able to read. I'm having a bunch of scanning done tomorrow. I didn't want to scan too much however, until I got your feedback.

You'll notice the field, "Type" in the listings. The types that I've designated are: ritual element, entire ritual, personal account, poem/song, prayer, text for study, introduction, article, recipe. Whether this kind of designation will be used on the site is another question, but I found it helpful.

(Note: I generated the html code for this page using the database program that I'm using to the keep track of the data. None of the formatting or typing in of field names, bolding etc... was done by hand. This information could be presented in a myriad of different ways without any re-entry of the data itself.)

Shai

47
Title: Abortion: A Ritual upon Termination of a Pregnancy
Author: Leila Berner
Topic: Abortion
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: A ritual for a woman who has had an abortion. Includes sections on “Affirming One’s Choices, Sharing the Pain, Affirming One’s Self, Surviving and Being Thankful, Seeking Healing”.

46
Title: Our Silent Seasons
Author: Leila Berner
Topic: Abortion
Type: Introduction
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Essay which emphasizes the importance of responding “ritually and Jewishly” to the often unshared experiences of abortion and sexaul abuse.

6
Title: Liberating Reproduction From Despair
Author: Allen Selis
Topic: Fertility
Type: Article
Source: Tikkun Vol. 14, No.3
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Article includes reflection on Talmud passage (Balvi, Niddah 31a) and the Iggeret Hakodesh, a mystical text offering a “path for sanctifying sprituality”. Ends with a brief ritual which preceeds IVF.

31
Title: A Longing for Children
Author: Julie Stockler
Topic: Fertility
Type: First Person Account
Source: Moment, October 1993
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Personal essay on grieving the inability to bear children. Author in dialog with deceased grandmother about whether she has the permission to mourn.

51
Title: Give Me a Child: Prayers for Conception
Author: Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
Topic: Fertility
Type: Introduction
Source: Teras of Sorrow pp.35-37
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Introductory essay on the emotional and spiritual struggles of infertility.

13
Title: Hannah’s Prayer
Author: Berakhot 31b Translated by Nina Beth Cardin, 1982
Topic: Fertility
Type: Prayer
Source: From the files of: The AJCongress Feminist Center, 6505 Wilshire Blvd., #417, Los Angeles, CA 90048
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: “If I am an angel, then let me live forever. But if I am mortal, then grant me a child...”

42
Title: Prayer for Those Having Difficulty Conceiving
Author: Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
Topic: Fertility
Type: Prayer
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: A prayer based on Song of Songs and Psalm 22 for those having difficulty conceiving “phrased in the plural and written in the voice of a married couple. It is easily adaptable for an infertile person to say on her or his ow.”

49
Title: Mikveh prayers: a cool, private place
Author: Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
Topic: Fertility
Type: Ritual Element
Source: Tears of Sorrow pp.30-33
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Essay on the practice of going to a mikveh as it relates to desire for conception. Includes two prayers “A prayer for a child- to be said before entering the mikveh” and “A prayer for the woman to say as she is dressing to return home”.

56
Title: Prayers and rituals for a Friday Night
Author:
Topic: Fertility
Type: Ritual Element
Source: Tear of Sorrow pp. 42-46
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Two prayers “To be Said Upon Candlelighting” and a “Wine Ritual for Friday Nights” are woven into text which reflects on Shabbat and the desire for conception.

58
Title: Segulot: Fertility Folkways
Author: Nina Beth Cardin with others
Topic: Fertility
Type: Ritual Element
Source: Tears of Sorrow pp. 49-52
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Essay on fertility folkways includes description of two rituals (Tzedakah and Ritual for Changing one’s Name) for improving chances of conception and healthy pregnancy.

52
Title: Round
Author: Rachel Boimwall
Topic: Fertility
Type: Song/Poem
Source: Tears of Sorrow pp.37-38
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: A contemporary poem on the desire to conceive.

53
Title: The Key
Author: Tikva Frymer-Kensky
Topic: Fertility
Type: Song/Poem
Source: Motherprayer, The Pregnant Woman’s Spiritual Companion, by Tikva Frymer-Kensky Riverhead Books, 1995 pp. 21-22
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Contemporary poem/prayer for conception.

55
Title: If I had a Son
Author: Rahel Bluwstein
Topic: Fertility
Type: Song/Poem
Source: Tear of Sorrow p.42
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Contemporary prayer on desire for a son.

60
Title: The Stain
Author: Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin with Jane Schapiro and Lynne Levin
Topic: Fertility miscarriage
Type: Song/Poem
Source: Tears of sorrow, pp. 68-70
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Three contemporary poems addressing “the stain” of blood which when trying to get pregnant “becomes a sign of failure, of sadness, of emptiness, of death.” Poems included: “Tapping a Stone” by Jane Schapiro; “A Prayer for a woman in search of comfort” and “The Bath” both by Lynn E. Levin

29
Title: Prayer Upon Miscarriage
Author: Tikva Frymer-Kensky
Topic: Miscarriage
Type:
Source: Motherprayer, The Pregnant Woman’s Spiritual Companion, by Tikva Frymer-Kensky Riverhead Books, 1995 pp. 68-9
Content: kenskyloss.doc

Description: A contemporary prayer which draws on the imagery of the destruction of the Temple and the language of the Psalms.

5
Title: A Ceremony of Remembering, Mourning and Healing After Miscarriage
Author: Lois Dubin
Topic: Miscarriage
Type: Article
Source: Kerem 4: 5756 (Winter 95-96)
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Essay begins with reflection on the need for a ritual for miscarriage. Description of ritual includes elements from Havdalah, Kiddush Levanah, Jewish Mourning rituals and symbolic acts. Essay closes with reflection on the ritual itself.

64
Title: Three Responses to Miscarriage
Author: Debra Reed Blank, Amy Eilberg, Marvin Goodman
Topic: Miscarriage
Type: Article
Source: Wrestling with the Angel: Jewish Insights on Death and Mourning, Jack Riemer Ed. Schocken, 1995. pp. 271-276
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Three Rabbis Discuss Critique Halakhic Approach to Misscarriage

12
Title: Finding Comfort After a Miscarriage
Author: Susan Grossman
Topic: Miscarriage
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: From the files of: The AJCongress Feminist Center 6505 Wilshire Blvd., #417 Los Angeles, CA 90048
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Complete ritual included with personal introduction.

62
Title: Neonatal Death
Author: Susan Knightly
Topic: Miscarriage
Type: First Person Account
Source: Wrestling with the Angel: Jewish Insights on Death and Mourning, Jack Riemer Ed. Schocken, 1995. pp. 265-267
Content: knightly.doc

Description: Personal account of a couple holding, burying, and then sitting shiva (traditional Jewish mourning practice) for a baby delivered at five months.

44
Title: After a Miscarriage: Hold Me Now
Author: Vicki Hollander
Topic: Miscarriage
Type: Prayer
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: A contemporary prayer to Hayotzer, “one of the seventy names of God..translated roughly as “One who fashions, forms, creates.”

25
Title: Healing After a Miscarriage
Author: Merle Feld
Topic: Miscarriage
Type: Song/Poem
Source: Four Centuries of Jewish Women’s Spirituality, Umansky p. 221-2
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: “I want no platitudes, no stupid shallow comfort. I hate all pregnant women, all new mothers, all soft babies.” The anger is wonderfully honest in this poem.

43
Title: Prayer After Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Author: Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
Topic: Miscarriage and Stillbirth
Type: Prayer
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Prayer combining contemporary words and Hebrew from the High Holy Day Amidah (standing silent prayer).

45
Title: A Grieving Ritual Following Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Author: Amy Eilberg
Topic: Miscarriage, Stillbirth
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: A ritual divided into three parts: Mourning the Loss, Choosing Life Again and Communal Support and Blessings. Contemporary with selections in Hebrew taken from the Psalms, Job, and Deuteronomy.

59
Title: Mourning Loss
Author: Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
Topic: Miscarriage Stillbirth
Type: Introduction
Source: Tears of Sorrow, pp.67-68
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Essay on the spiritual and emotional issues relevant when facing pregancy loss or stillbith.

41
Title: Infertility and Early Losses
Author: Rabbi Debra Orenstein
Topic: Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Infertility
Type: Article
Source: Lifecycles: Jewish Women on Life Passages and Personal Milestones, ed. Rabbi Debra Orenstein. Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, Vermont. 1994
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Essay describes how modern medicine and the Jewish “tradition itself.create a dilemma for Jews who suffer infertility and pregnancy loss.” Offers an outline of mourning rituals that follow.

40
Title: Understanding Your Pregnancy Loss: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Newborn Death
Author:
Topic: Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Newborn death
Type: Article
Source: Pregnancy Loss Support Program of the National Council of Jewish Women New York section and the Mount Sinai Medical Center, New York City
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Pamphlet quides parents through the emotional and practical terrain which follows the death of a baby due to stillbirth, miscarriage or newborn death. Offers list of religious resources, on-line resources and additional readings.

22
Title: Memorial Service For Miscarriage, Stillborn, or Infant who Dies Before Thirty days of Age
Author: Rabbi Judith Z. Abrams
Topic: Miscarriage, Stillborn
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: AJCongress files
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Short, complete, ritual.

17
Title: Pregnant? Don’t Eat Radishes
Author: Emily Taitz
Topic: Pregnancy
Type: Article
Source: Lilith Fall 1991
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Article describes charms, prayers and customs that Jewish women adopted over-time to help ensure a safe pregnancy and delivery.

28
Title: Ritual for Affirming and Accepting Pregnancy
Author: Tikva Frymer-Kensky
Topic: Pregnancy
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: Daughters of the King: Women and the Synagogue ed by susan Grossman and Rivka Hunt, The Jewish Publication Society, 1992
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Includes section where the perspective mother commits to taking care of herself.

27
Title: With All My Heart
Author: Judy Shanks
Topic: Pregnancy
Type: Prayer
Source:
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: A prayer of hope.

26
Title: On Learning of a Pregnancy
Author: Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
Topic: Pregnancy
Type: Ritual Element
Source:
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Short shorting divided into parts for the couple and the mother to be recited upon learning of conception.

4
Title: Ritual for Loss of Pregnancy
Author: Rabbi Shira Stern
Topic: Pregnancy Loss
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: Rabbi Shira Stern 38 Longfellow Terrace Morganville, NJ 07751
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Template for service to mourn all kinds of pregnancy loss.

30
Title: What Should Jewish Ritual Practice be Following a Stillbirth?
Author: Rabbi Stephanie Dickstein
Topic: Stillbirth
Type: Article
Source: http://learn.jtsa.edu/topics/diduknow/responsa/hatesh_confront.shtml
Content: dickstein.htm

Description: Argument for fuller ritual response for stillbirth. Author makes argument based on the Conservative movement’s decision to make parents mourners for children who die less than 31 days of age.

36
Title: A Midwife’s Kaddish
Author: Diane Solomon
Topic: Stillbirth
Type: Article
Source: Lilith, Summer 1990
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Personal essay on auathor’s journey and that of her Unitarian husband through stillbith delivery and burial of child.

9
Title: Memorial Service for Our Baby and a Reawakening of Hope
Author: Susanah/Ted
Topic: Stillbirth
Type: Entire Ritual
Source: ?
Content: Not yet scanned/typed

Description: Complete ceremony of a specific couple.

61
Title: I Lost a Child But Did Not Mourn Her
Author: Ron Wolfson
Topic: Stillbirth
Type: First Person Account
Source: Wrestling with the Angel: Jewish Insights on Death and Mourning, Jack Riemer Ed. Schocken, 1995. pp. 262-265
Content: wolfson.doc

Description: Personal account describing the author’s experience of stillbirth before rituals were developed to encourage mourning.

63
Title: Baby Brother’s Gone to Heaven
Author: Anne-Lynne Keplar
Topic: Stillbirth
Type: First Person Account
Source: Wrestling with the Angel: Jewish Insights on Death and Mourning, Jack Riemer Ed. Schocken, 1995. pp. 268-271
Content: keplar.doc

Description: Description by a mother of her six-year-old son’s response to the death of his stillborn brother.